Folks have been emailing, begging me to comment on the change in the name of the A.R.T. from "American Repertory Theatre" to "American Repertory Theater," seemingly because of the dopily pseudo-populist idea that "theatre" is a British variant of the word, while "theater" is the Amurrican version (even though both have been used in Amurrica for decades, if not centuries). Well, I've puzzled and puzzled over this, till my puzzler was sore. And what I've realized is that the A.R.T. actually needs an entirely new acronym. After all, they've never been particularly "American" (and let's be serious, Diane Paulus - neither have you!), and they've completely eliminated their "Repertory" company - so both the "A" and the "R" in their current title are a little questionable. And they're not doing many "plays" anymore, either, so why quibble over "theatre" vs. "theater"?
But I have an elegant solution to this problem. I suggest that we change the name of the "A.R.T." to "W.T.F." Or perhaps "W.T.F. Theater." For haven't we all, while watching a production like the recent Trojan Barbie or Julius Caesar, thought to ourselves "W.T.F.?!?" Well, with this new acronym at least we'll understand that our reaction is completely natural - indeed, actually the desired response!